Dr. Eric's Blog

Buddhist Monks Pro War?

Buddhist monks Pro War???

I guess there is a time for war and a time for peace...

A group of right wing Buddhist Monks (seems like an oxymoron to me) stormed the stage at a peace rally....Click here for the full story!

Dreams of Pooh Bear

Last night I dreamt I was in a place where Pooh Bear was alive and well...

With eyes bright filled with spirit, I dreamed that Pooh Bear, our beloved cat, was alive and well;   running up to me, sitting in my lap...rubbing his face against mine, allowing me to hold and cuddle him.  Happiness and contentment were ours.

That's all I remember and the feelings of connection continue to last throughout this morning. 

We miss him!

Success for Lazy People

"You’re so disciplined, you’re so focused, how do you do it?"

These are all the comments I hear all the time and the truth is, I am not disciplined, not focused, and I am actually quite lazy…

I like to spend most of my time at home, with my family, reading books, doing Tai Chi and playing my bass clarinet and when I am not doing that I’m watching re-runs of I love Lucy, Golden Girls and Bewitched...IN THAT ORDER mind you... ;-) and when I am “working” I work only with the people that I love!

So, how does one who is obviously sooooo lazy become so successful?   Well, I will tell you - it’s actually quite easy and is made of an eight-step-process.

1. Utilize your talents, skills, and abilities first!  We all tend to take our own abilities for granted and give them away, however talents, skills and abilities have not been doled out equally.  Get paid for what you are already good at!

2. Define success on your own terms.  The other day I was having a conversation with a client of mine and we got to talking about the choices we have made that have prevented us from becoming gazillionaires...and we both determined we would not have changed our experience one inch in any direction.  Many people continue to define success based on other people’s benchmarks which cause a great deal of stress and often a great deal of self-reproach.  One of my fellow coaches calls me a slacker (a term of endearment) in which we mutually tease our respective laziness. This is particularly true for solo-preneurs.  People who are starting or running their own business or practice and don’t have the measures they would if they were in a job where all the metrics were pre-determined.

3. Vision: A vision has the potential of super-charging your motivation and can help energize you when you feel low in the motivation department.

4. Personal and professional mission statements. These are personal standards that you set for yourself.

5. Define and rank order your values.  Values are your operating system that ultimately determine your choices in life. Your values are an important aspect of self-knowledge that should not be overlooked.  You are always working off of your values, whether they are conscious or not.  Once you know what they are, you may want to update them or keep them and apply them more consciously

6. Plan the time to plan, plan and then follow your plan.  This particular habit makes a huge difference in your life in terms of knowing what you will do and when you will do it.  It’s not about discipline, it's about habit and regularity.

7. Watch the money honey.  Keeping your eyes on what comes in and what goes out and evaluating it on a regular basis and aligning your choices based on your vision, mission, and values makes it all very simple.

8. Delegate, don’t abdicate! Create buffer zones around you so that you are not dealing with each and every detail of everything. 

So that’s it in a nutshell. The basics to achieve success for those of us who are allergic to hard work!

And if you are really lazy, come join a group of kindred spirits and get the ground work done!

Click here for the "GET YOUR YEAR IN GEAR" program

Peace during times of terror

Finding peace in times of terror...

This is the challenge that we all face today! I guess we could say the big challenge of the day, while each of us face other kinds of more personal challenges everyday.

War and terror are realities of the present day, which cause us all deep concern and much stress. 

Dealing with this kind of stress is always a challenge because the stressor is fairly consistent and persistent.  Which of course is the worst kind of stress.

So what can you do to de-stress your daily life as much as possible.

here are a few tips:

1. Limit your news viewing
2. Limit your discussions with others about the news
3. Discuss the news with people who can help you process your feelings about it
4. Focus your attention on the blessings in your daily life
5. Breath, take a yoga class, tai chi class, meditation class
6. *use the serenity prayer in your life as much as you like***
7. Be kind to yourself and others when ever possible
8. As St. Thomas said, Be and instrument of peace
9. Spend quality time with those that you love
10. Walk the path of peace with the same passion and purpose the terrorists take on their mission of destruction

***The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Grief and loss

Life goes on!

While we continue to grieve the loss of pooh bear, life indeed does go on.
In my mind, that is how pooh would want it.

Last night Sean and I looked at a lot of pictures of him, remembering him and keeping him alive in our hearts.

This whole process has refocused my attention on death, dying, grief and loss.
The BIG four if you will.....and how significant a process it is.  How it causes us, at least me, to focus on life, relationships, friendships, work.  It highlights for me what is REALLY important and that is one of the blessings Pooh's death has provided me with, and I remain truly great full to him.

So, what is next...well if you haven't heard, "The GET YOUR YEAR IN GEAR" program is filling up...so if you and your partner want to join a group of kindred spirits in making 2007 your best year yet...Then click here to find out more!

This is a two for one special. You and your partner or spouse can come for no additional charge!

Missing pooh!

Grief and loss

Pooh is gone but is ever present in our lives.  he is everywhere; in front of the TV, coming into the kitchen for something to eat or drink.  Visiting me in my office while I am working, laying down with me on the couch while I read. 

This morning there was a missing mouth that wasn't there to be fed....wasn't there to be kissed, wasn't there to be scratched, a missing purr. His presence felt by his absence.

Grief/loss/emptyness...a space that was once taken up with this amazing presence is now emptiness filled only with sadness.

As I climbed out of the shower I stood their for just a moment, time seemed to stand still....experiencing a new me, a me with out the corporal presence of pooh...

Pooh bear past at 4PM today...

It was not as peaceful as we all would have liked...however, it was here at home.

Sean and pooh sharing a last moment together.

 

Pooh bear, our amazingly sweet and kind cat, breathed his last breath at 4PM today.  It was a two step process of a sedative first..which actually caused his demise before the actual injection was given.

Pooh bear threw up quite violently, however, we were there and held him supportively while he finally laid down on his side quietly. 

The doctor administered the final injection and Pooh bear was gone.  Out of pain, out of discomfort and liberated!

He is gone but will never be forgotten.

He was surrounded by me, Sean (my partner) and our loving friend Jacqui.

Thank you all very much for your wishes, thoughts and prayers.

Preparing to say good-bye

Getting ready to say good-bye is as hard as saying it...

Finally, after an exhaustive search we found a vet willing to come to the house to euthanize Pooh Bear.  We have set up the living room with lights of light and his favorite ottoman to lie in during this procedure.  Even some of his and our friends are coming by to be with him during his passing.   

We are very sad and feel very blessed that we have been able to arraigned this so that it could be done here.  No stress for pooh or for us to go to an office some where. 

Tough weekend

Caring for the sick...

This weekend has been very tough more on us than on Pooh!
Trying to make him comfortable, keep on eye on his breathing, checking to see if he is eating and drinking....noticing every little this or that.

Our intention through out the weekend was to simply spend time with him and to make arrangements today for euthanasia.  However pooh has had other plans...he has preferred cool, shady spots in the house that are actually not very close to us.  However he has come out to eat each time we have put new food out for him and at night he still sleeps by my side.

As of this moment, I am waiting for the vet to call.  My hope is that we can do this here in the house and not stress him any further.

Waking up next to pooh bear

When I opened my eyes this morning, there he was...

On my undershirt(that I plopped on the floor last night)curled up in a ball, purring away.  We made eye contact and in that moment, all was right with the world.

Meanwhile, in another part of the house, the morning requests for attention and food began to echo.

As Pooh joined me in the kitchen, I flashed on the movie "Arthur".  When the character Hobbson, Arthur's butler and only true friend, lay dying in the hospital; Arthur had all of Hobbson's things brought to the hospital and recreated his room from home there.  Ordering food from the finest restaurants in NYC, not wanting his last meal to be jello!

While pooh bear is not dining from Le Cirque, It gave me tremendous pleasure to open up a can of albacore tuna for Pooh.  He got up, tail upright and walked right into the kitchen with me.

While he was enjoying his morning snack, I went in to feed the dogs.  They were ecstatic.  You would think that they had never eaten before and that somehow I was this wonderful benefactor!  Once they were taken care of, it was time to feed Buster, the little cat I found a few weeks back.

Now, it's time to go give Oscar, our bird, his morning bit of bagel...such a New York bird!

As I have said, in this moment, all is right with the world...well, maybe not the whole world, but my little world.  Sean and I have taken pictures and will download them later to post.